Of Cabbages and Kings, and why Texas is Boiling Hot, and Whether the Farking Kia People Are Going to Fix My DVD Player Already

So first things first: BOOTS! In July! I am a shoe (word that rhymes with chore), and recently we were out at a mall in Austin and we found this TERRIFIC store. It's a Dillards (like Macys, for you California folk), and Dillards is not usually a store I shop in, because it's frikkin expensive and has very few sales. However, the merchandise is really high-end & desirable. So we found this funky little mall that has a clearance Dillards...like a Ross exploded in it. There's just racks and racks of stuff that is on a final sale, like 70 to 80% off. And guess what I found??? Behold:


These are a brand called "Sofft"...and they are soft! And comfortable! And my humongous size! And black! And just $50! They usually sell for over $200. I had to share my joy with you. Adrianne, I expect a congratulatory comment. Also, Mom, Amber and Melinda. Remaining other sisters, you may or may not, as you do not share a size with us and Sasquatch.

Next: We are gearing up for our annual trip to California. Yay! When we first moved out of CA, we went back as much as 3 times per year. It's down to one time, now, as finances permit. But we are going! And sadly, our DVD system in the new Kia, which was purchased with precisely this kind of trip in mind, is not working. We have had the people who installed it out to fix it twice now. I am full of righteous indignation over this, and have all the customer service people bowing low in shame to me. As they should. If they can't fix it, I may have to make them upgrade the system or give us a new van. Sigh. I will let you know the outcome.

But, you know, BOOTS!! Life is worth living, after all.

Independence Day

So this is a little post to tell you about our Fourth celebrations, and, thematically, to inform you (that don't already know) that I am now "free and independent", because we have bitten the bullet and purchased a van. Yes, we have a new van. Didn't take very long, did it, after Jeff got promoted? Those of you who know me well will agree that we really needed a 2nd car, and a mini-van will be particularly useful to us, as it's much cheaper to drive to California, for example, than fly 5 people there. What a big family we've become!
So the big question you must ask yourself before you buy your new vehicle is, WHAT COLOR SHOULD IT BE? The answer: red. We bought a red Kia Sedona, which seats 8. Most everyone in our family got a little say in what they wanted, namely: Jeff wanted it to be a van; I wanted it to be a Kia & to have an entertainment system (DVD player); and Noah wanted it to be red. Dillon wanted candy and Zoe wanted booje. So, not really helpful on the last two there. But we all are happy with it, except for Zoe, who absolutely detests riding in her car seat and starts screaming upon sight of it.
Yes, I wanted the DVD player in it...if you've ever been on a multiple-day car trip with small children, you'll know why. And wonderfully, we got the system installed at a big discount because the Kia dealer here couldn't locate the van we wanted with the entertainment system factory-installed, so they had a local company do it....you can't tell the difference, and the cost was significantly less! So much for the bells and whistles. Jeff did a lot of research on the Kia Sedona, and it's really a great van, great bang for the buck. So far it drives really well and everything is working great. I guess I'm now that person, the mother of 3 who drives a mini-van. Not so bad after all. You've just got to yield to the inevitable, surrender to the madness, people.

On to other things: our 1st Fourth of July in Waco. It can be summed up in this small sentence: don't watch the fireworks from the bridge. Thank you. We'll be here all week. Try the veal.

Seriously: it was a little scary. Every year, apparently, they do a fireworks extravaganza from the Brazos River, and the "party" scene encompases this large area, which includes 2 older suspension bridges which they still have open. Kinda neat & festive, right? We thought so too. We ate dinner (term used losely...some HIGHLY overpriced cold cheeseburgers and some not-so-bad corndogs), wandered around, kids jumped in the bouncy houses, etc, just generally took in the scenery. Not so bad. Pretty crowded. Then we decide to go up on the bridge. So we do, and we bunk down, along with many others, on one of the ledges at the side, to wait for the fireworks. This was about 9PM. The foot traffic on the bridge was pretty heavy: it was like a promenade, people walking up & down, with folks waiting for the fireworks on the side. But the foot traffic just kept getting heavier and heavier, and as time went on, it was mostly young (teenage) black kids...like the whole black youth of Waco turned out on that particular bridge to party hardy. Long story short, every 15 min. or so some idiot would set off a LARGE FIRECRACKER right in the middle of the bridge, sending about, oh, 500 kids (mostly young, possibly drunk/stoned teenagers) screaming and running in any direction. It was a terrific recipe for someone to get stampeded or injured, not to mention burned by the firecrackers. We were right in the middle of the bridge, and it made me pretty nervous. But by the time this started happening there were so many people on the bridge that getting off was going to take a long time, and we had waited quite awhile for the fireworks, so we decided to stay and hope for the best. Obviously we're still here, so nothing untoward happened, but still...I can see how the mob mentality gets ahold of large groups. There was a moment where we were all trying to get off the bridge at once, when the fireworks were over, and somehow the whole bridge started to sway with the weight and momentum of so many people walking on it, and there was a bad minute where you COULDN'T HELP but sway it, to walk that way, and of course there was a sea of people in front and behind, so we were just trapped on the thing. Claustrophobic. Some kids started to scream and push, etc. Moral of story: we're probably not going to be doing that again on the 4th.
(The below pic is of the boys sitting on the suspension wires of the bridge while Jeff holds them both. My boys.)

Yesterday Jeff had off also, and we had a nice relaxing BBQ. I drank too much for the 1st time in a long while. Jeff caught it on camera:

When I fall off the wagon, man, I really fall. Notice the cookies.

And lastly, Miss Zoe Boe wishes you all a suspension-bridge-free Fourth of July, with a half masticated cookie in her mouth. Peace out.

Bragging

So I can see from Amber's much posting that I will have to really get back on top of the blog in order to keep up...good job my dear!

So on to my brag: my husband has once again proved he is a Corporate American Rock Star. We found out last week that he got a promotion that he had applied for! The position is 2 levels above the supervisor position that he got hired in with (only 6 months ago!), and I'm just pleased as punch for him and for us too, of course.

And Mom is coming to live just 2 hours away from us in a month or two! Everything is really looking up! I'm using a lot of exclamation points! Because I can!

Ok, I'll stop now.

So much to say, so little time:

I have not blogged in awhile. But I must post some pictures of a recent visit with Amber & Stephen (we miss you guys!) and Co., and a few random ones since I last posted on Easter. Quick updates:

--Noah is doing very well, learning to write and read, and is starting a correspondence with Auntie Adie which is well-greased by the incentive of dollars included in the letters from her. Thank you, Aunty!

--Dillon is also growing up rapidly, with his latest obsession being doing 24 piece jigsaw dinosaur puzzles ALL BY SELF.

--Zoe is saying 3 words: "Mama", "Dada", and "Uh oh". She crawls and is also pulling herself to a standing position on the furniture.

--Mom and Dad are doing ok, too.

Happy Easter!

The inscription reads: "This is Noah's Pirate Stand". Noah wrote this ALL BY HIMSELF, with Mom providing the spelling. I did not show him how to write any of the letters. He just started writing his name last week & is progressing rapidly! So proud.

Miss sunshine, looking dapper & delightful.

Mr. Pickle, showing us the inside of the cup and of the platter.

And now, for the yearly Easter Egg Extravaganza Tutorial:

1. Line up all your colors in matching cups and look expectantly at camera.

2. Take off your clothes.

3. Do the obligatory taste test to ensure a good year.

5. Drink liberally until you are sauced to the tonsils.

6. Display mutant green hands.

6b. Display radioactive yellow eggs also.

7. Dance with abandon, joyously, bringing to mind the following gem:

"O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!'

He chortled in his joy."

Mission Completa

Early easter morning....too early for some.

...But not for others!

Digging into the loot.

The coveted Starbucks Chocolate Chip cookie, only had on special occasions. Noah remarked, "Mommy, how did the Easter Bunny get us STARBUCKS?" Hmmm. Can't you just see a huge white rabbit walking through the Starbucks drive thru, Noah?

The baskets. I got them for $5 each at Walmart & stocked them with a few extras, like bubbles, etc.

Happy boy, searching for the Easter eggs.

AWESIM! (that's Dilly's "awesome")

Pointing out the merchandise.

Found another one!

Zoe looks on, dreaming of days to come.

AHH! The joy of completion!

And finally, the Easter outfits. We dressed up to go to dinner at Cracker Barrel, or known in our house as "The Pancake Place". It's a BIG deal. We don't get out very much.

I got Noah's & Dilly's shirt new at this frou frou department store, along with several other summer things for all three of them, for.....wait for it....$13!!! This is like $100 worth of stuff! Am I a frugalista or what? Huh? Huh?

Lastly, Dilly bids you adieu, and adds, "Y'all come back now, Y'hear?"

How do you get to Animals, by Noah James

Foreward: This is a verbatim transcription of a conversation (monologue) by Noah the other night. He had a box full of stuffed animals and was pulling them out, one by one.

You have to pay for my animals. You have to give me real money to pay for these animals.

Well, dis is called a kitten. Here’s how you take care of him. You get his kitten food, you get a little cage so he could go poop & pee & then you get a water so he could bent down & drink. You pet him when he’s so sad. Meow meow.

And then here’s a small bunny. When he grows up you let him outside & he hops. Boing boing.

And this is called a mouse. Here’s how you take care of him: you get him some cheese & you put him to sleep after he gets cheese.

Mom: How do you put him to sleep?

You just feed him more & more cheese until he’s full & den he goes to sleep.

Dis is called a blue jay. He flies around. You have to get a cage to take care of him & when he gets bigger you let him fly in the wild

Dis is called a fish. You put him in a fish tank & he swims around, he rings his fish bell when he’s hungry.

And then dis is called a duck. You hold him & here’s how you feed him: you feed him duck food. Here’s how you put him to sleep: more & more duck food. When he’s bigger you let him fly out in the wild

Dis is called a bear. He plays baseball. You have to be careful because bears play baseball & then they could knock something down. And then bears wear a baseball hat to throw a baseball.

Dis is called a Gorilla. When he’s strong & big you let him swing out into the wild

Dis is called a big bunny. He has sensitive hearing and he has big ears to hear far away. And then here’s how you take care of him: you get a big bunny cage & close the door so he can’t get out. When he’s big & changes into a giant, you let him hop out of the door. Boing boing boing.

Dis is called a frog: You put him in a frog cage. He’s a tired frog. This frog is always tired. So when it’s time for him to eat you just do the clock & he wakes up. And then you feed him some frog food. And then when he’s big you just let him hop out of the door into the wild.

And then here’s a leopard. He could jump far away & run so fast. PHEW!
Dilly: he’s not a leopard.
Mom: What is he?
Dilly: A draguar
And then here’s his bed. Here’s how you feed him. You feed him macaroni & cheese. When he’s really really really big. And den when he’s full he goes to sleep. & when he’s big big big & turns into a daddy you just let him jump over your fence & run him out.

And then here’s a turtle. You just let him swim around in a turtle tank. And when he’s hungry you feed him cheetos & he swims around catching them. And he’s a fast swimmer to catch his favorite food, which is cheetos. And then when he’s tired you just sing him a lullaby like this one:

Turtle go to sleep
Ah you have the tired eyes
For you to go to sleep

And den when he wakes up you just give him more food.
And den when he’s big & you can’t take care of him anymore you just let him out of the wild and then he crawls to his real home over the fence, until he came to his mommy & daddy.


That’s it!

I have one more pet in here called a donkey & a horse. Here’s a donkey. Here’s what you feed him: you feed him carrots. And den when he’s big you just let him run out in the wild.
Dis is called a horse. You feed him oatmeal & let him run around in your back yard & den you could let him give you a ride. And den put him in a stable so he’ll be warm in the rain. Here’s one problem about horses: they’re really hard to take care of because they could run so fast that they might run away. And then when they grow up to be such big horsies you have to let them go.

I sink I’m going to be a safariar when I grow up, and learn about every animals. Safariars are the best because they stay in the rain forest looking for men that need their help. And I get to have a sword and a shield and a knife & everything! And those are for the animals that are trying to get me, like lions or tigers or jagiars.

Great Expectations

So, appropos of nothing, I would like to introduce this thought I had out into the yawning void of the internet, namely: I think Disney is doing a great disservice to our children. They are actively encouraging them to buy into the concept that "You can do anything if you just believe in yourself". So many Disney songs and cartoons tout that very concept.

But consider: it's simply not true. Dillon, for example, often believes himself to be a dinosaur. Noah firmly believes he can do karate and eat high fructose corn syrup all day long. Many people on American Idol believe they can sing. I used to believe I could be a ballerina. THESE THINGS JUST WILL NEVER BE TRUE, mon enfants, no matter how much the parties involved believe in them. Are you with me?

And then these poor children watch these movies, these songs, and that theme is ingrained in them. They get unrealistic expectations of life...and then they get depressed when they get older.

"I was supposed to be an Astronaut! I was supposed to be a movie star! I was supposed to be the President of the United States!" (Ahem, Jeffery Doss)

And when it doesn't work out, they feel discouraged or even belligerent & disgusted with their lives. This does not make for a satsfied hoi-polli. I should know. I was supposed to be a princess of Jesus, ruling and reigning, COMPLETE WITH FLYING ABILITY by the time I was 25. I was ROBBED, people. I'm now 32 and can barely get my sizeable ass off the couch.

Oh but seriously, my amigos, don't you agree? There seems to be (in the States, mind you) a serious disconnect between what people percieve is their right to happiness & acheviement, and what is the reality of the situation. I blame Disney. And then, of course, when people grow up & they're neither rich or famous or even particularly good looking, they feel like their life is a let-down.

I saw this documentary one time about this, and it was very interesting. It was saying that people a couple hundred years ago used to be much more happy, even though they, like, lived in holes in the ground and pooped in their own backyards. Why? Because that was all they expected out of life. Expectations exceeding reality = unhappiness.

I have found this to be true in my own life. I have been experiencing, more and more lately, a quiet sense of satisfaction when I look around at my life. Thinking of my kids and my husband, my small life in my small town, gives me a sort of mellow joy. I really feel proud of our financial & life decisions...I feel proud and happy of the piece of the American dream that we have. But get this: I don't remember really feeling this way much when Jeff was making about twice as much money and we owned a house. Why is this? Maybe because I've adjusted my expectations. Our period of unemployment gave me a perspective on just how bad things could be, and how lucky we are to have what we have. I've adjusted my expectations on sleep, eating, free time, and life in general. I've surrendered to the babies, and I like it just fine. I find I'm much happier, actually. Go figure.

In closing, I would like to dedicate this post to a person who I believe is a fine example of making peace with one's situation & finding contentment when & where he can: Christopher, who's birthday it is today. I guess I posted for you after all.

Excuse me...I have to go now. The kids are asking for a Disney movie.